Epic
by MrPresident
Summary: Two stories for the price of one. *Updated* - Yes, you read that correctly
1. The Beginning, Surprisingly Enough

Epic

Chapter One – The Beginning, Surprisingly Enough. 

 "Xander! Noooo!" 

The dark green ball of light struck Xander in the upper left hand side of his body. He fell back with a muffled cry of pain and then his vision started to darken and he was gone. 

He slowly tried to open his eyes, they hurt, they hurt a lot. 

"He's awaking up." Said a distant voice.

"Xander?" That voice sounded familiar. "Xander? Can you hear me?" It was Buffy.

He tried to speak but there was a sudden sharp pain in his throat. 

"Don't try to speak." That was Willow.

His eyes were fully open by now but his vision was all hazy. He could make out three figures; Buffy, Willow and he guessed the other had to be Giles. Again he tried to speak and again a sharp pain hit him.

"What are you trying to say?" Asked Buffy.

Xander tried his best to mime his question but wasn't helped by the fact he was rubbish at miming or by his arms, which seemed to be moving a lot slower than he remembered.

"What does that mean?" 

"I think it means he is thirsty."

"You think that means he is thirsty?"

"It could."

"How?"

"Many this" Willow imitated the wild arm movements of Xander "means, can you get me some water?"

"I don't think so. If this" Buffy now imitated the wild arm movements "means anything then it means…"

"Shut up!" Shouted Xander caused himself immense pain. "I'm not thirsty."

"Told you."

"It looked like you were asking for a glass of water."

"I wanted to know what is wrong with me."

"Oh." Said Willow as if the arm movements all now made perfect sense.

"We don't know what is wrong with you." 

"The doctor said he would be in to tell you when you woke up." Added Giles.

"How are you feeling?"

"Is pain a feeling?"

"I think so."

"Then pain, lots and lots of pain."

"Is there anything we can do for you?"

"I bought grapes." Said Buffy while at the same time revealing a big bunch of red grapes.

"No, there is nothing you can do." Answered Xander looking directly at the grapes. "Nothing."

Then the door to the small hospital room opened and in stepped a doctor in a bright white coat. "Ahh, I see Mr Harris is awake."

"Indeed he is." Said Xander.

"Are you in any kind of pain?"

"The worst kind."

"Okay I'll have a nurse give you something for that." He said writing something on a board he had gotten from the edge of Xander's bed.

"Doc, is there anything wrong with me?"

The doctor looked up at this question. He hesitated, "I think I better said to you alone."

"It's okay, they're friends of mine."

"Still, I think it would be best if they stepped out for a minute."

Xander saw the look in the Doctor's eye and somehow this convinced him to agree. Buffy, Willow and Giles left the room and it was just Xander and the doctor. "It's bad isn't it."

"Yes, I am afraid it is. You have an extremely rare condition where your heart is ageing a lot faster than the rest of your body."

"My heart is ageing faster?"

"Yes, it does sound a little unbelievable and to be honest we don't have a clue as to why it is doing that."

"Can you fix it?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Am I going to die?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"I think I should warn you Mr Harris. We don't know what we are dealing with here. Any predict I give you will be at best educated guesswork."

"How long?"

"Six months."

"Six months?"

"Like I say it could be a lot longer than that."

"Couldn't it also be a lot shorter?"

"Yes, it could."

"Six months?" 

"If you need help…adjusting…then the hospital does have a counselling service."

"Can I go?"

"Excuse me?"

"Can I leave the hospital? Do I need to stay?"

The doctor checked the chart, "Err…I see no reason why we need to keep you here. All you need to do get your pain medication and then you can be discharged."

"Thanks."

The doctor looked Xander said in the eye and said in a low voice before turning away, "I'm terrible sorry." And with that the doctor was gone.

It wasn't long before Buffy, Willow and Giles returned. "So Xander, anything wrong?"

Xander didn't answer. He was gazing into space.

"Xander?"

"What?"

"Was there anything wrong?"

"Err…no. Everything is fine. All in working order."

"That's good."

"Yeah." Again Xander's gaze drifted and he repeated in a low voice almost as if he was speaking to himself, "Yeah."

[End of Chapter One]

****

Epic

Chapter One – The Beginning, Surprisingly Enough. 

"Xander! Noooo!"

This shout alerted Xander to the rapidly approaching dark green ball of light just in time for him to get out of its way. It smashed against the wall behind him creating a massive hole in the bricks. All was silent until a low rumbling could be heard and soon the whole building was shaking.

"It's coming down!" Shouted Xander.

Everyone ran for the stairs trying to dodge falling pieces of rubble. Eventually Xander made his way out of the building followed by Buffy. They had ran about seven paces when the whole building collapsed down on itself. They were covered in a cloud of dust. After a minute of lying on the ground and with the cloud of dust starting to thin Buffy picked herself up.

"Hey Xander, I think it's okay."

Xander opened his eyes and looked up at the dust covered Buffy and started to laugh.

"What?"

"Nice look Buff."

She looked down at his outfit and tried in vain to brush some of the dust off. "Man, this was my favourite shirt."

"Look on the bright side."

"Bright side? What possibly be good about this?"

"At least your shirt is no worse than your hair."

"What is wrong with my hair?" Buffy instantly reached up to her head.

"It looks like the worst case of dandruff ever." A large grin emerged on Xander's face.

"I don't know what you are smiling at. You look like a 50s B-movie monster."

"Really? Cool."

"Why is it that men don't mind if they look terrible?"

"Evolution."

"I'm too covered in dust in even think about how you came in with that."

"I didn't know dust affected your intellect."

"Why else do you think people vacuum so often?"

"That would explain it."

While Xander was thinking about Buffy's question Willow emerged from behind some cover. She, luckily for her, was not covered in dust. "Wow, you two look like dust twins."

"Dust twins?"

"Okay, there may not be any such thing."

"I see you aren't covered in dust, why is that?"

"I hid behind that wall."

Buffy turned to Xander, "Why didn't you think of that?"

"I was too busy trying not to be crushed by really heavy building."

"You have an excuse for everything."

"I bet on my death bed you will say that when I explain why I forgot to get you your milk."

"If you forgot my milk then you would be one step beyond the death bed."

"You really like milk."

"Who likes milk?" Giles arrived just on clue to be puzzled by Xander's comment.

"Buffy."

"Buffy likes milk?"

"Yeah."

"Can we stop talking about me and milk?"

"You bought it up."

"No I didn't, you did."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Guys! Does it really matter?" 

"Did we get them?" Asked Giles while rubbing his glasses.

"I think so."

"Isn't this the point where in the movie where they think the monsters are dead but really their not and they attack again?"

Everyone looked at Xander and then at the collapsed building. After a moment Buffy said, "That's only in the movies, right?"

There was another pause before Xander replied, "Yeah."

 "Hey Giles, what was that green stuff they fired at Xander?"

"I don't know."

"Could it have killed me?"

"I don't know."

"Was it magic?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you were knowledge guy?"

"Knowledge guy?" 

"Yeah. Buffy is strength guy, Willow is magic guy and you're knowledge guy."

"Which guy are you?"

"Carpenter guy."

"Not many superhero groups have a carpenter guy."

"Not many superhero groups have a genuine solid oak dining table."

"That's true."

"So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know what the rest of you but I need a shower."

"I also need a shower, want to share one Buff?"

"Ewgh! No way."

"Not even for water conservation?"

"No."

"Worth a shot."

Buffy, Willow and Xander slowly walked away laughing and joking together. Giles remained watching them walking away. He took off his glasses and started to clean them and said to himself, "I can't believe they are the only thing between the world and utter destruction."

[End of Chapter One]


	2. Welcome Home

Epic

Chapter Two – Welcome Home.

It was mid-morning and Xander had been released from the hospital.  He had gone back to the old brick building to retrieve his car and was now driving it back to his apartment. As he was driving he started to look at his surrounding. The big white houses, a group of children happily playing with a dog and a couple standing outside of a shoe store with the boyfriend trying desperately to convince the girlfriend that the last thing she needs is another pair of shoes, especially ones that expensive. Everything seemed to be working in slow motion as if someone had hit a button on a remote control that controls the speed of the tape and which no one knew even existed. He stopped his car outside of the apartment, turned off the engine and just sat there for a moment. Then he slowly got out and walked the familiar steps to the familiar door. Again he hesitated but eventually he pulled his key out of his pocket and turned it in the locked. He opened the door and was confronted by Anya standing looked directly at him.

"Xander, what happened to you?" She asked as if they were already in the middle of a conversation.

"Nothing." Replied Xander.

"You didn't come home last night."

"Yeah, I was in the hospital?"

"Hospital? Where the sick people go?"

"Uh-huh."

"Are you sick?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Then why did you go to the hospital?"

"I got hit by a green light thingy."

"Green light thingy?"

"Yeah."

"What you doing getting hit by a green light thingy?"

"Saving the world."

"Why can't you let Buffy do that? She is the Slayer."

"I was just helping."

"But you get hurt when you help."

"Not all the time."

"More than the others."

"That's not true."

"It is true. I don't want you helping Buffy anymore."

"I'm sorry but I have too."

"You don't have too. She has super-human Slayer powers, you have nothing."

****

"I know that."

"Then what good can you do?"

"I do good."

"No you don't, you just get yourself injured and make me worry."

"Wouldn't make to make you worry, now would we?"

"Exactly."

"Maybe next time the world is about to end I should not try to stop it and go home to you and we can watch a video."

"Yes, that would be fine. But I don't want to watch any of your war movies again."

"Anya, I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I…I…I have to go away."

"On vacation?"

"No, not on vacation."

"For how long?"

"I don't know."

"But the wedding is in three weeks, you will be back by then right?"

"I don't know."

"You have to be back by then. I have everything booked and the invitations have been sent out."

"I know."

"Why do you have to go now?"

"I just have too."

"Why?"

"I can't explain it."

"What do you mean you can't explain it?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't."

"But what…"

"I'm sorry but I just have to go…I'm sorry." And with that Xander left Anya standing alone in the apartment. He went down to his car, opened the door, got in and just stared out of the windscreen. Then he reached for the key, turned it and drove away.

During the course of your life you make a countless number of decisions. Most are as simple as deciding what to have on your toast, which film you should go to watch or whether that pair of trousers is worth buying. However some are a lot more important than that, some are life changing. There are two types of life changing decisions, those you know are life changing and those you don't. If you are lucky than you will know. Xander was lucky.

[End of Chapter Two]

*****

[Start of Chapter Two]

****

**Chapter Two – Welcome Home.**

****

It was nighttime and that made the drive home slightly dangerous. At least that would have been the case for anyone else on the road. Xander, on the other hand, could drive the route from Buffy's house to his apartment blindfolded. He had gone there to have a shower since it was closer that his place. He had intended to come straight home after that but one thing led to another and he had stayed for four hours. It was late, really late; if it were military time then there would be a lot of zeros. However Xander didn't feel tired, saving the world isn't the best thing to do before going to bed, neither is having several cups of coffee. He arrived at his building and quietly, or at least attempting something close to quietly, he made his way up to his apartment. He slowly inserted his key and turned it. Once opening the door he nearly had a heart attack at the shock of seeing Anya standing before him.

"Jesus Christ!" He shouted. "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"

"What time is it?"

"There is a clock over there."

"No, I mean what time is it?"

"There…is…a…clock…over…there."

"I though asking what time it is was how you greeted a boyfriend who doesn't get home till very late."

"Oh, you meant what time do call this?"

"So, what time do you call this?"

"Late."

"Where were you?"

"Buffy's."

"And there isn't a phone at Buffy's?"

"I'm pretty sure there is."

"And were you trapped by a bookcase?"

"Of course not."

"How about a large boulder?"

"Anya what are you talking about?"

"I just assumed that you didn't call because you were incapacitated in some way."

"I'm sorry I didn't call."

"How sorry?"

"Extremely, very, sorry. Perhaps the sorriest I have been in my entire life."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So next time you will call?"

"Definitely."

"You're supposed to say there won't be a next time."

"I think you have been watching too many sitcoms."

"What were you doing at Buffy's?"

"Showering."

"With Buffy?"

"Of course not. How could you think such a thing?"

"Then why were you showering?"

"I was covered in dust from a collapsed building."

"Collapsed building?"

"You know that thing we were looking for?"

"Yeah."

"We found it."

"And it collapsed a building?"

"Uh-huh."

"Covering you in dust?"

"Yep."

"Which meant you went to Buffy's to wash off."

"That is what happened."

"Why couldn't you have come here to shower?"

"Buffy's is closer."

"By about five minutes."

"I don't see the problem."

"You love her, don't you?"

"What!"

"Buffy, you love her."

"Did I miss something? Because last time I checked I was marrying you."

"So, you don't love her?"

"I love you."

"Not her?"

"I don't think I can said it any clearer. I love you. I am marrying you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Wouldn't kill you to said that every once in a while."

Xander moved in towards Anya and they kissed. After he looked her in the eyes and said, "Seriously you have got to stop watching those shows."

"So, what happened with the thing?"

"Oh, it fired some green stuff at me."

"Green stuff?"

****

"Green light or something."

"You were hit by it, were you?"

"No I got out of the way. In fact, it was that stuff that brought the building down."

"Which covered you in dust?"

"Oh God, not again."

[End of Chapter Two]


	3. One Wedding and No Funeral, Yet

Epic

Chapter Three – One Wedding and No Funeral, Yet.

A week had passed, a very long week. The week had been long, the days had been long, and the minutes, well you get the idea. Xander had spent the time thinking. As some of you may very well know time spent thinking is the opposite of time spent having fun. No only does it not fly but it does not even break a sweat. Time sort of lies there sunbathing developing skin cancer all in the name of beauty. In this case time is very much like a rich upper-class woman entering middle age with the burden of a newly discovered inferiority complex. Anyway Xander had been doing some thinking about his life, or what was left of it. He had been given the gift of life and as with most other things he had been given, he had wasted it. He had only six months left and he knew it. Six months is nothing, it is half of a year, two seasons of the four seasons and only five McDonald's kiddie meal promotions. I bet you are wondering where Xander went? Who did he meet? Did he have some sort of spiritual awakening and discovered God (I didn't know he was lost)? And perhaps most importantly what shirts did he wear? Well those are all good questions and some of them deserve good answers. A good storyteller would give up those answers in a subtle way and a bad storyteller would tell you them in a blatant (or as I like to call it American television way). However, as you may well know, I am not an ordinary storyteller. I am neither good nor bad (personal opinion which some of you may not share) as my mother says, I'm special. So it is in the disguise of this specialness (that includes making up my own words – hey it is not like I'm the only one, Shakespeare did it) that I have hit upon a third way (nothing to do with Mussolini and his fascist Italian government). This third way is ingenious in it simpleness (there's another one). What is it? (Like you haven't worked it out yet) Well, I have decided not to answer those questions. The cynics among you will be screaming at their computer screens calling me numerous naughty words that couldn't possibly be repeated here (and not only because I couldn't spell half of them) and most of you are right. It is a cop-out, I admit. I am feeling in an honest mode so I will go with it, I couldn't be bothered to think up a story about Xander's "road trip". Basically it doesn't matter (at least to me it doesn't) and if you don't like it them feel free to email me. If I get enough emails of the complaining nature then I may consider writing the "road trip" chapter but I wouldn't hold your breath (seriously it damages your brain cells). So this chapter is about the return of Xander and the results of his extensive thinking. So enjoy…

A week had passed, a very long week. The week had been long, the days had been long…I'll skip this part…. The night was dark, much darker than the last time Xander drove to his apartment. He finally arrived and parked in his usual spot. He got out and climbed the familiar stairs, walked up the familiar corridor and arrived at the familiar door. Almost automatically his hand went to his pocket and pulled out the key. He unlocked it and opened the door. There was darkness. Fumbling around the wall he finally found the light switch. Click. Xander looked around the newly lit apartment.

"Anya!"

He went to the bedroom. Click. There was no one there and the bed didn't look like it had been slept in.

"Anya!"

He looked around the apartment but there was no one there. He was all alone. He looked at his watch, it was late. Slowly he made his way to the bedroom and there he collapsed on the bed. For a brief second his eyes went to Anya's side of the bed then he closed them.

*Beep**Beep**Beep*

Xander awoke with a shudder. 

*Beep**Beep*

He looked around the room with half closed eyes.

*Beep**Beep*

His hair was ruffled so much that it looked like one of those cheesy wigs that middle-age bald men get in the vain hope of convincing the world that they aren't really bald.

*Beep**Beep*

"Fire!" He shouted as if the thought had just entered his head. "Fire!"

*Beep**Beep*

He quickly got up from the bed and smelt the air in the way that those drug-seeking dogs do. 

*Beep**Beep*

His gaze roamed the room until finally settling upon a bedside clock. 

*Beep**Be-

The sudden appearance of fist on the top of the clock put an end to its beeping days.

"Damn clock."

The rest of the morning went without incidence. After a shower, a combing and a careful examination in the mirror Xander passed himself fit for public appearance. He had found his car keys after a search which lasted much longer than usual, the keys seemed to had attempted to make a break for it but had be stopped by the wall behind the fridge. Now he was in his car on his way to the Magic Shop. The roads were practically free from traffic, as is usual in small town California, and the journey was relatively easy and quick. He arrived, parked and waited. He looked at the front door almost as if he was using Superman-style X-ray vision to see inside. Finally he decided to get out of the car and made his way to the door. Again there was hesitation but that was quickly overcome and the door was slowly opened. Xander was confronted by the scene of the Scooby Gang sitting around the table with a big pile of books. Only Anya had looked up at the sound of the bell but her stillness upon seeing him had prompted Giles to look and then a sort of domino effect occurred until everyone was looked at Xander. 

"Hey." Said Xander in a subdued voice.

He was looking at Anya but she didn't reply.

"Xander?" It was Buffy who broke the silence. "Where you been?"

"Err…somewhere." Xander didn't seem interested in answering Buffy's question. "Anya?"

She just looked at him then she ran off out of the back door. Xander quickly ran off her.

"Anya?"

He got in front and stopped her.

"Anya?"

"You can't do this."

"Leave for no reason and without so much as a goodbye then come back a week later and expect me to run into her arms."

"I didn't expect that."

"Then what did you expect?"

"I don't know what I expected."

"Did you have a nice time?"

"What?"

"On this trip, did you have a nice time?"

"No, I missed you."

"Obviously not enough to call me."

"I didn't call because I didn't know what I would say."

"So you know what to say now?"

"Yes."

"Well…"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For this. I can't marry you."

Anya's face betrayed no emotion whatsoever. 

"Sorry."

Upon hearing this tears started to appear in Anya's eyes and he ran out of the door.

"Anya!" Xander started as if he was going to follow her but didn't. He just watched her go.

[End of Chapter Three]

*****

[Start of Chapter Three]

Epic

**Chapter Three – One Wedding and No Funeral, Yet.**

****

"So, what's happening?" 

Xander had arrived at the Magic Shop slightly later than he had said he would. Slightly being an understatement. 

"What time do you call this, Xander?" Asked Buffy with the hint of annoyance.

"Lunch."

"Every time to you is lunch." The hint of annoyance was now nowhere to be seen.

"That's not true. What about breakfast?"

"Don't you eat breakfast at lunch time?"

"Maybe at conventional lunch time."

"You have your own lunch time?"

"Yep." Said Xander with a little bit of pride in his voice. 

"Well since the rest of the world doesn't run on Xander time I think it is safe to say that you are late."

"I didn't know I had to be here at a certain time."

"I called you and said you had to be hear at a certain time."

"Oh yeah."

"Willow called you and said you had to be hear at a certain time."

"Now I remember."

"And…"

"You made your point Buffy."

"So, you agree that you are late?"

"Yes."

"You would have thought I was going somewhere with that."

"I wouldn't have."

"No one listens to late people."

"Depends on your meaning of late."

"What other meaning of late is there and I see what you mean."

As Buffy was speaking Willow emerged from behind Xander carrying a massive pile of books. She passed by him struggling to keep hold of the books.

"Careful, Wil." Advised Xander.

She gave him a stern look and then managed to make it to the table with the books.

"Why all the books?"

"Why do you think?" Asked Buffy.

"It's not research is it?"

"Yep." Said a disturbingly gleeful Willow.

"Aww…" Xander made a disappointed sound as he slowly walked towards the table. He chose the seat opposite Buffy.

"Cheer up Xander, it's not the end of the world." Said Buffy with a smile.

"So what am I researching?"

"A demon that kills people then skins them and eats their bones."

"Why are demons always so gross?" Asked Xander.

"Not all demons are gross. What about the demon that looks after puppies?"

"Err…Buffy…the demon doesn't look after puppies."

"It doesn't?"

"Nope."

"What does it do then?"

"I don't think you want to know."

"Oh. It doesn't…does it?"

Xander nodded.

"Why are demons so gross?" Asked Buffy.

Before Xander could answer Anya appeared from the basement with a large box. He got up and went to help her. Buffy and Willow shared a look at this behaviour.

"What's in the box?" 

"Eyeballs."

Xander moved away from the box. "Eyeballs?"

"Yeah. They are a very good seller."

"Who buys eyeballs?"

"Witches, trolls and frat boys."

"My fiancé, the eyeball-seller." Said Xander.

"I love it when you say that."

"My fiancé."

The two of them kiss and Buffy rolls her eyes making Willow laugh. This, in turn, drew the attention of Xander but that was back on Anya when she said, "What are you wearing for the wedding?"

"A tux."

"You think you could wear an all-white one?"

At this both Buffy and Willow laughed but they both tried to pretend they were just coughing. 

"Err…Anya." Xander took her to one side. "I'm not wearing an all-white tuxedo."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll look silly."

"I think you would look good. Don't you want to look good?"

"Honey, the groom wears a black tuxedo. It is tradition."

"Tradition? That is your argument against all of my ideas."

"Yeah, well, tradition is kind of important at stuff like weddings."

"But I thought it supposed to be my special day?"

"It will be. It will be."

"Then you're wear the all-white tuxedo?"

"Aww honey…" He took her head and placed it on his chest. "…Not a chance in hell."


	4. Giant Radioactive Monkey Chapter

Epic 

****

**Chapter Four – Giant Radioactive Monkey Chapter**

****

Xander was standing all alone in the training room. He had just told his fiancé that he didn't want to get married and there is perhaps no worse thing you can do to a woman, at least anything legal. He spent a few minutes just standing there before he made his way back. He entered the room and was met by the eyes of everyone in the room. All he could say was, "Anya had to go."

The group nodded as if they understood what had just happened. An uncomfortable silence descended, as no one knew what he or she should say. Finally Xander said, "So, why all the books?"

"Oh, err…research." Answered Buffy.

"What are you researching?"

"Demon."

Willow stepped in to fill Xander in on the new evil this week. When she was done Xander didn't say anything and it wasn't clear whether he had heard or understood anything she said. "So we think the demon might…"

Xander interrupted her, "I have to go."

"Go?" Said Willow.

"Yeah, I have to…err…have to go." Xander vaguely pointed at the door and before anyone could say anything else he quickly walked towards it and was gone. 

There was silence.

"You think he is okay?" Asked Willow.

"I don't know." Replied Buffy.

 "Maybe I should…"

"No, we need you here Willow."

"But…"

"I think it would be best if we all gave Xander some time alone."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Anyway we need to find out as much about this new demon as possible."

"Talking of research," Said Buffy. "I don't think I'm doing very well."

"Buffy, it is not a case of doing well but…" Giles stopped as he saw what Buffy was reading. "…but since you are reading a 15th century recipe book I think that may be the case."

"Recipe book? That explains a lot."

"And it is written in Latin."

"So I think we have established my bad researching skills which is why I think it would be better if I went and did some patrolling."

"Yes I suppose that would be better."

Giles turned and went to go fetch some books giving Buffy time to whisper in Willow's ear, "I'll go see if Xander is okay."

Willow nodded and Buffy left.

*****

After an extensive search of Sunnydale (meaning the coffee shop, the bronze and the pizza place) Buffy found Xander. He was walking along seemingly not noticing the world around him. Upon seeing him Buffy walked quickly towards him and started to call his name but he didn't look up. As she got closer so the calling got louder but still he didn't notice her. After one extra loud shout she finally got his attention, as well as that of the other people in the street. However in almost the same instant that he looked up and saw her, he vanished. One second he was there, then there was a blindingly bright light and he was gone.  

[End of chapter four]

***** 

[Start of chapter four]

Epic 

****

**Chapter Four – Giant Radioactive Monkey Chapter**

Xander was walking along carrying two cups of coffee in the direction of the graveyard. He was taking the occasional sip from the one in his left hand. It was night but since it was a full moon it could just has easily been day with an overcast sky. He entered the graveyard and walked towards a figure sitting looking up at the sky. As he approached the figure quickly turned round but relaxed upon seeing who it was. He handed over the cup of coffee and asked, "Why did they have to go and make things so complicated?" 

"Acting like your someone else, getting me frustrated." Replied Buffy immediately. 

"What?"

"It's from the song."

"What song?"

"You know."

"Nope."

"But you just quoted the chorus."

"Well, I didn't mean too."

"That's strange."

"Maybe it subliminally entered my mind."

"Like the word subliminally?"

"Yeah."

"It's possible."

"It could be part of a government conspiracy to control the minds of the American youth."

"It just went from possible to practically impossible."

"Why is it that no one ever believes conspiracies theories?"

"The same reason that no one ever believes advertising. Both are the creation of madmen."

"I'm pretty sure women also create them."

"Yeah but the women aren't man."

"No, they're beyond mad."

"If you weren't getting married tomorrow I would hit you for that."

"You mean I can get away with stuff because I'm getting married?"

"I probably shouldn't have told you that."

"You know that Walkman I borrowed from you?"

"Yeah."

"It wasn't stolen, I exchanged it from some comics."

"You what!"

"You can't do anything remember?"

"Xander, you do realise that I have something called a memory, don't you?"

"Oh, crap."

"Well said."

"I was only joking about the Walkman thing."

"Sure you were."

"I didn't really exchange it for comics."

"Of course."

"I'm going to buy you a new one, aren't I?"

"Oh yeah."

They both smile.

"So, you're getting married tomorrow." Said Buffy.

"Yeah, I know."

"Yeah but you're getting married."

"Yes, I know."

"But you."

"Okay Buffy, you are like the Buffybot stuck on a loop."

"It's just so amazing that you're getting married…not that you getting married is hard to believe. I mean it's not like I didn't think you would ever…it's just that, well, I'm going to stop now."

"I would if I were you."

"You got what I meant right?"

"Surprisingly I did."

"Yeah well…"

"Yeah."

"I can't believe it Xander."

"Neither can I."

"Anya's a lucky lady."

"Not nearly as lucky as me."

"I hope you two have a long and happy marriage."

"Thanks."

Neither of them said anything for a minute.

"Are we supposed to hug?" Asked Xander.

"We could."

"You want too?"

"Sure, it's your last night as a free man after all."

They hug.

"You know most men get strippers for their stag night. I get a hug from you."

"See how much luckier you are."

"Yeah, much luckier."

"Would it be better if I did a little strip for you?"

"Your joking right?"

"Of course."

"I knew that but there was a little part of me that wanted to believe."

"The dirty old man part?"

"I love that part."

"You're the only one who does."

"Yeah."

"Xander, that's not a good thing."

"Oh no, of course."

"You don't sound very convincing."

"Maybe it is that you don't listen very convincing."

"That's not funny."

"They can't all be funny."

"Yeah, but most of them should be."

"What are you saying?"

"Words."

"If there was an audience here then you would be hearing a large groan about now."

"You're not that ugly Xander."

"I thought you weren't going to do that since I am getting married."

"I wasn't going to hit you."

"So physical abuse is not okay but verbal abuse is fine?"

"Of course, I'm a girl."

"Not a girl, not yet a woman."

"Okay, that's definitely not subliminal."

"No, that's Britney."

"That's not the word I would use."

"Meow."

"What have I told you about that Xander?"

"Yeah, okay."

The two of them just sit there looking at the sky until finally Xander said, "I better go see Anya."

"At the Magic shop?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, tonight looks quiet."

"Hopefully the demon won't show up or do we want it to show up so you can kill it?"

"I don't know."

"Either way, have fun."

"Alone in a graveyard at night, what's not fun about that?"

"Yeah. Well, see ya tomorrow."

"I still can't believe you are going to get married tomorrow."

"I think I better go before you start up again."

"So do I."

"Bye."

He started to walk away, "Bye." He didn't reply but instead, without turning, raised an arm. And then Buffy was alone.

Anya wasn't usually at the Magic Shop at this time but she had said that she was feeling nervous before the wedding and was going to count the money. Unsurprisingly this activity had an extremely calming effect on Anya. And it was the Magic Shop, which Xander was heading too. He was about to round the corner to the shop when he first noticed the large group of people. Then he noticed the flashing lights. Something was obviously going on. His pace quicken and he rounded the corner. Then his heart stopped. The window of the Magic Shop had been smashed but that wasn't what Xander was looking at. He was looking at the ambulance parked outside the shop and the police officers keeping the crowd from getting a better look they so desperately sought. He ran towards the shop but was stopped by a large police officer. After explaining who he was, he still wasn't let in. He was getting frantic. However Giles, who was standing in the shop doorway noticed him and walked over to the police officer. Xander was allowed past. 

"Xander, I tried to call you."

Xander didn't say anything.

"Something has happened."

Still Xander said nothing and just stared at the doorway.

"It is Anya."

At the mention of her name Xander looked up at Giles for the first time.

"Anya?"

"Yes. I'm afraid she has been attacked."

"Attacked? Is she okay?"

"I think you better go in."

"Giles! Is she okay?"

Giles didn't respond but gave Xander a look, a very tellingly look. Xander didn't wait any longer. He moved towards the doorway. When he reached it he quickly scanned the shop and he almost turned white. There was blood everywhere. All the furniture was either upturned or laying in pieces on the floor. And in the middle of all this destruction were two paramedics working furiously on the body of a young female. The paramedics were repeatedly shocking the body but they were having no luck and they looked at each other and one of them said, "Time of death, 1:32."


	5. Home Sweet Sunnydale

Epic 

****

**Chapter Five – Home Sweet Sunnydale**

****

"Xander!"

Buffy just stood there staring at the space where she had only moments before seen her friend vanish into thin air (thin air? Damn stupid clichés). She was not the only one staring. Several anonymous members of the public also had a look of disbelief of their face. Some of them were asking each other if they saw what they thought they saw. Buffy was still just standing there, not moving at all. Then suddenly she turned around and ran. She ran and ran. She didn't seem to care where she ran, she just ran. Tears were streaming down her face and making her vision hazy but she just kept running. Finally she stopped and looked around and saw the Magic Shop. She headed towards it and opened the door with so force that everyone inside turned to face her. Giles, seeing the tears in her eyes, immediately went towards her with a look of unconcern. "What's happened?"

"Xander." 

"Xander?"

"Xander."

"Something has happened to Xander?"

At this moment Willow appeared and upon seeing Buffy's appearance and hearing Giles's words she became extremely worried. "What's happened to Xander?"

"Buffy?" 

"Vanished."

"Vanished?"

"Vanished? What does she mean?"

"I don't know."

"Vanished." Buffy repeated.

"Xander's vanished?"

"Vanished."

"Buffy what exactly happened?"

"He was there then he was gone."

"Gone?"

"Vanished."

"Giles?" What's happened?"

"I don't know."

"Vanished." Said Buffy in a quiet voice. 

*****

Far across town another person was about to vanish but in a way completely different to that of Xander.

"Help!" Screamed the woman desperately trying to out run the creature that was bearing down upon her. She didn't have a hope. The creature was playing with her. Finally she was thrown to the floor where the creature pinned her down and began to eat her, alive.

*****

"What did the council say?" Asked Willow.

"They have never heard of anything like this." Replied Giles.

"So they can't help?"

"They said they would look into it but…" Giles trailed off.

The two of them looked at each other then across to a very subdued Buffy sitting by the table.

"She is taking this hard." Said Giles.

"I think seeing it happen made it worse, much worse."

"Yes, yes your probably right."

"I tried to talk to her but she was all clammy."

"I suppose we just have to give her some time."

"Time? But we are going to get Xander back really soon though, right?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

*****

"Eaten alive?" Said Giles into the telephone.

Willow returned to the shop to find Giles talking on the phone and Buffy still sat staring into space. She walked up to Buffy and asked, "Who is Giles talking too?"

Buffy didn't seem to heard Willow but just as she was about to ask again Buffy said, "Don't know."

Willow nodded and waited for Giles to finish his conversation. After a couple of minute he did. 

"Something wrong?" Asked Willow.

"A girl has been eaten alive."

"Eaten alive?"

"Yes."

"That sounds like a demon thing to do."

"Indeed."

"What are we going to do?" Asked Buffy.

"I think we need to research as this demon appears to be very dangerous."

"No, I meant about Xander."

"Xander? I don't think there is anything we can do."

Buffy looked up at Willow and then back at Giles, "What do you mean?"

"Well we don't have anything to go on."

"But that is what all the researching is for."

"Yes but without more information it would be like searching for a black object in a large dark room."

"We must be able to do something?"

"I have the council working on it."

"The council?"

"Buffy I think there is a more pressing matter than Xander."

"More pressing?"

"We have a human-eating demon out there."

"I don't care."

"I know how both of you feel about Xander, I do too, but he would understand that we have to find a way of stopping the demon first."

"He would understand? He would understand?"

"Buffy…"

Buffy interrupted him and asked in a direct manner, "Are you going to research the demon or Xander?" 

"The demon." Upon hearing this Buffy ran out of the shop.

*****

"Buffy?"

"Anya, I have something to tell you. It's about Xander."

"Oh."

"He kind of, well, kind of vanished."

"Yes, I know."

"We're not sure what exactly…excuse me?"

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yes."

"Know that Xander vanished?"

"Yes, I make him vanish."

"You?"

"I sent him away." 

"Where?"

"A hell dimension I know."

"A hell dimension?"

"Yep."

"You sent Xander to a hell dimension?"

"What? He deserved it after what he did to me."

"Anya! Xander could be in a great amount of pain right now."

"Good."

"He could be suffering untold amount of torture."

"Excellent."

"Anya!" Buffy violently pushed Anya against the wall.

"Ow."

"Bring him back."

"No."

"Bring him back!"

"No!"

Buffy's fist appeared as if it was going to hit Anya but she got herself under control again.

"Anya, you don't want this."

"How do you know what I want?"

"You want him to suffer? That's understandable but do you want him to die?"

Anya didn't say anything.

"He was suffering, you think he wanted to do what he did?"

"Why did he do it if he didn't want too?"

"I don't know but what I do know is that he was suffering, suffering a lot."

"He was?"

"Yes."

"I just wanted him to feel what I was feeling."

"I know."

"So he could know how much he hurt me."

"I think he has suffered enough, don't you?"

Anya looked at Buffy and nodded.

"So how do we bring him back?"

"I just have to do a little spell."

"And he will appear here?"

"No he will appear at the point where he vanished."

Buffy waited for Anya to get together the necessary stuff and took her to the spot where Xander vanished.

*****

"Okay, I think this is it."

Anya performed the spell but nothing happened.

"Nothing happened."

"Give it a little time."

A little time passed.

"Did you do it right?"

Before Anya could answer a blinding bright light appeared from nowhere forcing them to cover their eyes. When they uncovered them they saw Xander curled up on the ground.

"Xander?" Said Buffy. "Xander?"

He looked towards the voice and blinked a couple of times.

"Xander?" Asked Anya.

"It's Buffy."

"And Anya."

Xander took another long look at them and said in a quiet nervous voice, "Who are you?"

[End of chapter five]

*****

[Start of chapter five]

Epic 

****

**Chapter Five – Home Sweet Sunnydale**

****

"What happened?" Asked Buffy.

"It's Anya…she's dead." Replied Giles.

"Dead?" Buffy was shocked.

"Yes."

"Killed?"

"Yes."

"By who?"

"A demon."

"The new one?"

"It appears so."

"Where's Xander? Was he hurt?"

"No, he came back after it happened."

"He saw her?"

"Yes."

"Where is he?"

"He left."

"Left?"

"Yes, after they took away her body he vanished."

"You don't think he went after the demon, do you?"

"I didn't think of that."

"Giles, he is going to get himself killed."

"I don't know Xander can take care of himself."

"No, you don't understand. I came here to talk you that I found the demon. It is in a cave at the edge of town with about ten other demons."

"Ten?"

"Yeah. And Xander has gone after it, alone."

Giles went to a nearby weapons chest and pulled out an axe and threw it to Buffy. "You go to the cave and if he arrives stop him. I'll go get Willow and Tara and we'll search the rest of the town."

"What if I get there and he has already gone in?"

Giles pointed to the axe and Buffy nodded. She turned and ran out of the shop and headed in the direction of the cave.

*****

Xander had seen the demon on the outskirts of the town and was following it through the woods. It was moving fast and he was struggling to keep up but his anger pushed him on. The woods started to clear and the demon made its way for what looked like a cave. As he got closer Xander saw that it was a cave and the demon entered it. He went to its entrance and paused, and then grasping the axe in his hand he moved into the darkness. However he felt a strong arm on his shoulder and he turned round wielding the axe but just realised in time who it was.

"Buffy?"

"Xander, don't go in there."

"But that demon killed Anya!"

"I know but it's suicide."

"I don't care."

"Xander there are ten other demons in there."

"Good, more of them to die."

"They will kill you before you even raise that axe."

"Buffy this doesn't concern you."

"What do you mean it doesn't concern me?"

"Did your girlfriend just die? Did you just see her lifeless body covered in blood? Did you!"

"No, but getting yourself killed won't help."

"Killing them will."

"Xander I know what it is like to lose someone you love but this isn't the answer."

"Then what is? Do we leave to fight another day?"

"Yes."

"Sorry but I have run away for the last time."

"Do you think this is what Anya would want you to do?"

"How the hell do you know what Anya would want?"

"I know that she wouldn't want you to die."

"She would want me to get revenge."

"Yes but not this way."

"What other way is there?"

"Giles is working on a way to kill them and when…"

"Research? They could be long gone before Giles figured out anything. They need to pay and they need to pay now!"

Xander pushed Buffy out of the way and moved towards the cave.

"No! Xander I won't lose you."

Buffy dragged him back and placed herself between him and the entrance.

"It's not your decision to make!"

"Well I'm making it anyway."

"What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"No, just knock you unconscious."

"Are you prepared to do that?"

"If it means saving your life, then yes."

"Well go ahead then." Xander brought up his axe and lunged at Buffy. She brought up her axe and parried his attack.

"Xander you don't want to do this."

He brought his axe down again and again she parried.

"Then let me past."

"Never."

"Why are you protecting them?"

"I'm not protecting them, I'm protecting you."

"I don't want your protection."

"Tough because you've got it."

"It is my life and it is my decision. This doesn't involve you!"

"Yes it does."

"Why won't you let me through?"

"You want to know why?"

"Yes!"

"Because I love you!" 

There was silence. Xander's axe fell to his hip and he just stared at Buffy. Finally he said, "You love me?"

"No."

"But you said…"

"Yeah, well, it was in the heat of the moment."

"So you don't love me?"

Buffy didn't say anything and just looked at the ground.

"Buffy? Do you love me?"

She looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded.

Xander moved towards her and they were kissing. However he broke it off looked Buffy in the eye turned towards the woods and ran. He left Buffy standing there simply watching him go.


	6. Revelations

**Epic******

****

**Chapter Six - Revelations.**

****

Buffy couched down beside Xander and Anya followed suit.

"Xander?" She whispered. "It's Buffy. Buffy, your best friend. Do you remember me?" 

"Yeah, hi Buff. What's happening?"

Buffy and Anya were shocked. They withdrew from Xander, looked at each other and then back at him.

He grinned, "What?"

There was silence. 

"I thought..." Buffy managed before falling silent again.

Xander slowly rose to feet and waited for the girls to recover.

"I thought..." Buffy tried again. "I thought you couldn't remember...I thought you..."

"I was only joking Buffy. Man, did you lose your sense of humour when I was gone?"

"But you were in a hell dimension."

"Hell dimension? What are you talking about?"

"Anya..." Buffy pointed at Anya but trailed off.

Anya finished her sentence, "I sent you to a hell dimension."

"...Err...No you didn't."

"Where were you then?" Asked Anya.

"I don't know but it was fun. Maybe it was a water park? I can't quite remember but I do know it was fun."

"Fun?" Said Buffy.

"Yeah, fun. Lots of fun actually. Kind of put everything in perspective."

"Put what in perspective?"

"You know, life." Xander turned to Anya and took her hand. He looked into her eyes and said, "I'm sorry. I know I caused you a lot of pain," He paused as if he was remembering something, "a lot of pain. I was wrong. I hope you can somehow come to forgive. I'm not asking for you to forgive me now but hopefully sometime in the future you will be able too. I hope anyway."

Anya had not blinked during Xander's speech. She had just stared into his eyes the whole time. When he finished she continued to stare just for a moment then turned away without saying anything. She got up, brushed her dress and then turned back to Xander. She paused before saying in almost a whisper, "Thank you." And with that she walked away.

Xander watched her all the way until she was out of sight then he turned to face Buffy. "Do you think she bought it?"

"Bought it?" Said a bewildered Buffy. "Bought what?"

"The whole fun dimension thing?"

"You weren't sent to a fun dimension?"

"You really think there is such a thing?"

Buffy went into deep thought mode for a moment but that didn't solve her confusion. "Wait, I don't understand."

Xander put his arm round her shoulder and started to walk, "Let's go to the Magic shop and I'll explain on the way."

*****

[Magic Shop]

Buffy and Xander entered the shop causing the little bell to ring. This, in turn, caused Willow and Giles to look up with their books. Upon seeing Xander they both went into the exact kind of shock that Buffy and Anya had gone into. 

Xander grinned and put up a hand, "Hey."

There were still in shock.

"I think they're in shock." Xander said to Buffy.

"I know the feeling." She replied.

Willow recovered enough to ask, "Xander?"

"Yeah, it's me. The Xan-man."

"But..." Willow looked Xander up and down. "...But...how?"

"Anya brought him back." Explained Buffy.

"Anya?" Said Willow not taking her eyes off Xander.

"Yeah, she sent him to a hell dimension and then brought him back."

"A hell dimension?"

"That's right, isn't it Xander?"

"Yeah, a hell dimension."

"My God." Giles said before taking off his glasses. "Are you all right?"

"Nothing a nice bubbly bath, won't cure." Xander paused. "Forget I said that."

"I don't understand." Said Willow.

"That was me about half an hour ago." Answered Buffy. "But there is a nice simple explanation that explains everything."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well..."

"Xander? Shall I?"

"Be my guest."

"Well..."

[End of Chapter Six]

*****

[Start of Chapter Six]

**Epic **

**Chapter Five – Revelations.**

Buffy came back to the Magic Shop to find it cornered off as a crime scene. There were only a couple of police officers left apparently to guard the scene. She still couldn't believe what had happened there. Anya was gone. Gone. She was definitely in shock. Man, if she was in shock then what was Xander in? That would explain what just happened, wouldn't it? It was all down to shock, nothing more. He just lost Anya. Anya? She was gone. Definitely shock. There was a tap on Buffy's shoulder and she turned round to see Giles, Tara and Willow. 

"Did you find him?" Asked Giles.

"Yeah." Replied Buffy.

Giles looked around, "Well, where is he?"

"He...err...he ran off."

"Ran off?"

"Yeah."

Willow noticed something about Buffy. She couldn't place her finger on it but there was definitely something about her. 

"Do you know where he went?" Continued Giles.

"...No. I stopped him from going into the cave and then he ran off."

"Well, that good." Said Tara. "I mean good that he didn't go into the cave, not that he ran off."

"How do you know he didn't wait until you left and then went back into the cave?" Asked Giles.

"I know."

Giles was about to ask another question when Willow stopped him. "I think we should all go home and rest." For some reason Willow decided that they should stop asking Buffy questions. Her instinct told her it wasn't a good idea. Something had happened but Buffy wasn't about to tell them what. Not yet anyway.

Giles seemed to accept Willow's suggestion, "Err...yes. It has been a long day," He looked at the crime scene before him. "A very long day. Perhaps we should go home and rest."

"What about Xander?" Asked Tara.

They all looked at Buffy but she didn't answer. Finally Willow stepped in, "I think he needs some time alone."

*****

[The Hospital]

Xander was sitting beside the body of Anya. He didn't say anything. He didn't do anything except sit there. 


End file.
